How to choose rewards: small, right away, decided ahead

A reward isn't a bribe. It's a signal that says "you did it."

4 min read

Three things that make a good reward

Small. You should be able to give it every day. A bite of a snack, one favorite song, 5 minutes of play
Right away. Give it right when the routine ends. If it comes later, it's hard to tell what it's for
Decided ahead. Before starting, show "when you're done, you get ___." That's different from a surprise at the end

What to use as a reward

The best reward is what your child likes right now. It may be different from what you think is good. Try showing two or three options and letting your child choose.

Something to eat: a little of a favorite snack
Something to do: swinging, playing with blocks, 10 minutes of videos
Something together: a hug, a high five, reading a book together
Something to collect: stickers, stars

Collecting stars and stickers

Give one star for each finished card, and let the collected stars add up to a bigger reward. In a long routine where the end feels far away, this keeps your child going along the way.

In ELUM, each time your child checks off a card, they hear praise and get a star. When the routine is done, the reward you wrote ahead of time appears on screen.

Fade rewards little by little

Once the routine feels familiar, move from a reward every time to every other day, and from objects to praise. Always keep the reward you promised, and don't take it away as a punishment when a routine isn't finished.

Frequently asked questions

Can I use videos as a reward?

Yes. Just make sure it's clear when it ends. Set a time like "10 minutes of videos" and use a timer together.

Without a reward, my child won't do it at all.

Don't remove rewards all at once. Space them out little by little. Also try making the routine itself easier by breaking it into smaller steps.

This article is a guide for everyday routines. ELUM does not replace diagnosis or treatment.